Bittersweet Resolve

 1/21/2025

Bittersweet Resolve

"Feeling sadness but choosing to move forward"

    To create a title for this post, I typed in "words for sadness but wanting to fight" into ChatGPT and bittersweet resolve was accurately generated. This is what I am experiencing currently.

    This class and my major are feeling obsolete. I learned today that the Trump administration is pulling the US out of the WHO. I am completely and utterly bummed. I wish to be in blissful ignorance and naivety, but I can't. Reality is a splash of icy water. I feel like I have wasted the past 3 years. Public health is essential to protect society from the constant maladies that ravish the Earth. Maternal and child health is so important to educate, advocate and protect mothers and children. I love this class and our discussions. I love my major and want to help populations. But it's being attacked, and I don't know what to do and how to defend it. 

    I just applied to the accelerated MPH program with a concentration in epidemiology at UofL. Last week I was feeling excited about it, this week I am feeling unsure. Overall, I am feeling stressed. Is it even worth it anymore? Will I ever get to fulfill my dream of becoming an epidemiologist, the dream I've had since I was 14 years old? What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do in a world with a president who only cares about billionaires and is fundamentally against the major I have worked towards the past 3 years? Why couldn't I have chosen information technology or business as my major? I would be feeling a lot better right now. I never would have chosen public health if I would've known how political it was. 

    I want to fight and continue for public health, but I am scared, stressed and tired. I wish I didn't feel this way but right now I am having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel for public health, the major I love. I am stuck. I know I will graduate; I have made it this far but with what degree (BA or MPH)? I am not sure. 

    I have also discussed women's reproductive health and rights in my previous post. I have discussed how I am scared about what will happen. So, as a woman, public health major in her 20s, during 2025, life is grim. On top of the stress of school, I have to worry about this? It is tough right now. I only truly feel at peace at home with my support system. However, I have to work on feeling sorry for myself, it doesn't get me anywhere.

    But I will continue to study both academically and personally, to learn as much as possible, because education is power and cannot be taken away from me. Dr. Wallis taught me that resistance is key. So, I must study and implement resistance in my daily life. I know this presidency will not last forever which is giving me hope but I worry about the ramifications. As of right now, I am going through a tough adjustment period to school after break and a new America, and I hope it will pass soon. I am feeling bittersweet resolve right now, but I know this will pass.

Here is an AI generated image to depict "Bittersweet Resolve" and I believe it fits nicely.

As Dr. Thomas Fisher always said in his book The Emergency:

onward,

Molly



Comments

  1. Erin McIntoshJanuary 22, 2025 at 10:55 AM

    Thank you for sharing such a powerful and evocative post, Molly. Your words truly gave me chills and resonated deeply with me. The weight of the world can feel overwhelming, but we must continue to resist and fight for the change we believe in. Take care 💛

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anne WallisJanuary 27, 2025 at 1:09 PM

    Beautiful post. I love the words "bittersweet resolve" and the illustration.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mighty SparkJanuary 27, 2025 at 6:14 PM

      Thank you, Dr. Wallis. Thank you for giving us a space to be open and honest.

      Delete

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